Well it sure is realistic looking. And the balls move. And it’s set on a suction cup base so you can stick it on the floor and f*ck it. And it…ejaculates? Yeah, you read it correctly. It ejaculates.

Kitty Kat is all for realistic looking and feeling, and the suction cup base is great because it’s less work to masturbate with it. However, she can do without the “squirting.” One of the benefits of masturbation for a woman is that there’s less mess. But if you’re the kind of woman who wants to make a puddle, by all means go for it! This little baby makes it possible.

Available from Sextoysex.com for $55

For all those ladies who are hankering for some g-spot stimulation, this curved dildo is just the thing. It’s sleek, curved shape ensures that it will hit you in all of the right spots, and the large blunt ends guarantee maximum comfort. Use it when you’re flying solo or with a co-pilot.

Available from G Spot Centre for $48

Now here is a truly fantastic product!

You can make a mold of any man’s Pride and Joy. Wonderful for any woman who has a man who is a frequent traveler or is about to croak. Now any woman can feel her man inside of her while she performs oral sex, or can experience double penetration with the same man. It brings new meaning to “another notch on the bedpost.” Forget about notching it, now you can just hang a replica of each one from the bedpost and have another go with the ones you liked.

Also very convenient and handy when that special man turns out to be a womanizing wanker. You can freely brutilize his willie without the threat of a lengthy criminal trial.

The downside of this product? If you’ve been shopping around for a vibrating dildo because your man’s willie is too small, and he presents a replica of his as a gift.

Guys, if you have an acceptably-sized willie and you know your woman loves it, this is the ideal gift for any occasion!

Available from Lovehoney for £26.99, $47.11, or euro 38.85

As the name suggests, this is a dildo made of glass, which makes a sex toy like this the cleanest type to use in the bedroom. It is a tad delicate though and it should be used in bed or on a carpeted area (say hello to carpet burn), so keep it away from hard services and wrap it in a nice cloth. Oh and use plenty of lube!

Coco-De-Mer suggest chilling it during the summer and warming it up during winter (not with a microwave though!), and you should wash it with soap and water. They describe the sensation of using the Double Pleasure Glass Dildo as “Once you’ve applied lubricant the glass will feel like liquid against your skin”.

Not for clumsy people like moi…

Available from Coco-De-Mer’s online store for a ‘cool’ £115.